Experience submitted by Ella Klyashitsky

My husband and I had done a lot of preparation to commemorate the return of the sun on winter solstice with a spiritual ceremony. We didn’t have any friends to celebrate it with that year, but were living in such a naturally beautiful and clement environment at the time so we were still inspired to carry out the winter solstice ceremony, as given by Belsebuub, in full.

We had spent the best part of the week involved in preparations. We’d discovered a private beach that faced the sunrise and spent a few mornings there, aligning a make-shift stone circle to the rising sun and preparing a fire to light.

We expanded on our limited arts and crafts abilities, making paper-mache headdresses, painting them, as well as gathering all the needed items that would be symbolic of different forces, such as a pine tree to symbolize the eternal/evergreen Father.

Here is a description of the ceremony, including a video of it being performed in California.

With all the effort I put into preparing, a lot of attachment, in retrospect, must have grown inside me too. I wanted the ceremony to go well; I wanted the weather to be perfect and for it all to flow seamlessly. I certainly didn’t want to be late. I really dislike being late; a lot of subconscious states emerge and make me rushed and tense and angry when I’m late, or approaching the possibility of being late. No one knows this better than my husband.

A Tumultuous Drive to the Beach

The morning of the ceremony I woke up in good time and did all the last minute arrangements. The drive to the beach was just over an hour and I knew what time I wanted to leave, but we didn’t actually leave until after that. So began a knot of tension within me and a rising amount of frustration.

By the time we were on the road a cascade of emotions and thoughts had fired off inside and I was immersed in the bitterness of anger. I applied the techniques of the mystical inner transformation that I found out about from Belsebuub, and combined with focusing on the feeling of driving and seeing the colors of dawn arrive in the sky, managed to change my inner state somewhat on arriving to the location.

However, it was already light and we had to walk very fast to our circle and I certainly wasn’t totally free of my inner tension.


My husband performing the role of the divine Father during the ceremony.

Beginning Belsebuub’s Ceremony for the Winter Solstice

On arrival the sun started to rise. This should have been the pinnacle of the ceremony, with the various stages leading up to this moment. We were not even ready to start, and within me a massive tide of anger emerged.

Had I not been faced with having to perform the ceremony right then, it may easily have manifest in an upset comment and started off a series of negative exchanges between my husband and I. But now I was faced with playing the role of the divine mother, walking through the dawn of creation – she really wouldn’t behave like that!

There was no time to dwell on it, we quickly began the ceremony and I started walking in slowly decreasing circles along the arms of a swastika drawn in the sand, the ancient Hindu symbol of the universe in motion around the four solstice and equinoctial points of the year.

As I walked I prayed, I prayed to the divine mother that I was representing to remove the anger within me. As well as maintaining this inner asking, I tried to perceive the surroundings and use my senses to ground me and keep me in reality.

I felt the cool sand under my feet, heard the gentle sound of the waves, saw the expanse of the sea and cliffs around me. I also chanted the mantra OM, said to be primordial sound of creation.

I felt the anger within me fighting back, but it was very obvious and incongruous in the context of the special event. Very soon it was overpowered by the mystical energies that the ceremony itself produced and my work to remove the negative states.

By the time we had gone through all the steps and completed the ceremony, my inner state had been totally transformed and I was able to sit in peace around the fire with my husband, enjoying the beautiful setting and the feelings of consciousness.


Me representing the divine Mother for the ceremony.

For me, the speed and scale of the inner change was like nothing I’d experienced before. But it didn’t end there. What makes this experience stand out for me was that for the next few days I felt like I was surrounded by a protective shield, formed by emanations from within.

The usual daily battles to overcome petty thoughts, lower emotions and to not express anger just weren’t there. Instead I felt completely impenetrable and at peace. It’s what I imagine it would be like to be ‘hermetically sealed’; I felt what it was to be inwardly nonreactive to the telepathic and manifest communication of egos between myself and others. I could see the same things occurring that would normally give rise to irritation, but now I saw them from an observer’s distance and felt no inner ‘bite’ back.

Such was the change in my behavior that even my husband commented on it. And of course, he was very glad of it too. One of the most significant things I have gained from applying Belsebuub’s work in daily life is being able to improve the relationships I have with my family and friends, trying to base them on the qualities of the consciousness: love, compassion and good will.

In this video, Belsebuub talks about how our inner change improves the lives of those around us.


Me at the summer solstice

Something else I’ve experienced through coming to know Belsebuub’s approach to life and spirituality is feeling like I’m helped in the struggle to change by sometimes being given a glimpse of what it’s like to live without negative inner states – as was my experience on this winter solstice. This change can be through working persistently on perceiving and going against an inner state, but it can also feel like a merciful gift, that acts like an incentive and a balm.

Taking part in the ceremonies Belsebuub has created to commemorate the sun’s journey and its symbolic portrayal of the distinct stages in the path of awakening has been an incredible learning process. It has opened up a fresh understanding of spirituality and appreciation of the interconnectedness of all life, and of life and the message of awakening. As well as this, I’ve enjoyed incorporating these events as ‘punctuation marks’ in the year; as times to focus more on the spiritual and to reflect on my own inner work. Belsebuub says it’s a time that mystical experiences are more accessible – I certainly feel this to be true.

“Although the solstices and equinoxes are celestial events, they are also very personal ones. They communicate not only cosmic principles, but inner ones too, as the inner and outer worlds are connected. Each individual can have their own reasons for celebrating the solstices and equinoxes, but these celebrations give everyone participating an opportunity to experience spiritual principles directly. The spirit in life teaches – through these celebrations an individual can learn something personal about their own journey of consciousness, and a group celebrating can learn and perceive something together.” – Belsebuub and Lara Atwood, A Guide to Celebrating the Solstices and Equinoxes