Experience submitted by Lucia Beznik

Experience submitted by Lucia Beznik

I first learned about the technique of awareness through the work of Belsebuub some years ago. After some time of practicing, I was able to have some conscious experiences in the astral plane (OBEs) and really liked the heightened state of perception I felt during those, as well as after waking up from them.

I noticed that after waking up from these experiences I was able to keep that heightened state of awareness for some time also in the physical dimension. It was a state where I could feel that reality was multi-dimensional and I could still sense the presence of the astral dimension even though I was already back in the physical.

For a lack of the better words, I would say I could feel the ‘magic’ around me, that kind of feeling we get when we are aware in the astral plane and feel life and beauty in everything. This heightened awareness never lasted long though, and I would eventually find myself slipping back into the numb, mundane feel of life, trying hard to get to that state again.

Seeing how this worked, I made a vow to give the technique of awareness a really good go for a longer period of time and see if I can keep that feeling of wonder and magic in my daily life and also to increase the frequency of my astral experiences.

Back then, I was living about 3 minutes from a beautiful old park with all kinds of decorative trees and bushes growing in it, with a lake in the middle, inhabited by a colony of ducks throughout the year. So every single day, usually after dinner, I would go for a short awareness walk to this park.

A photo from this park.

A photo from this park.

I was resolved about this and didn’t let any day pass by without my walk. I would usually walk along the lake, stopping at times, trying to get out of my mind and just ‘feel the magic’ of the park and of every little spot that captured my attention.

A photo of the ducks resting by the pond.

A photo of the ducks resting by the pond.

After about a year of going there, I felt like the park had almost became a part of me, I could really feel its various parts; each had its own beauty and atmosphere. A little hill always covered with colourful leaves in autumn, a small island in the middle of the lake where the ducks lived, an umbrella-like tree, or a beautiful lake surface, reflecting all kinds of colours, reminding me of the paintings of the impressionists.

The ducks on the pond.

The ducks on the pond.

I felt like entering my own, personal sanctuary when coming there, and I didn’t need to push myself anymore to go there every day, I would miss the park if I didn’t. I felt like it was waiting for me, calling me to come and visit every day to see how everything was doing, and to connect with my inner self. There was also an old man visiting the park almost as often as me at that time. He looked like he could possibly be a homeless, but was always dressed clean and emanated a sort of peace, sometimes picking the mushrooms in a corner of the park, sometimes just sitting on a bench. I knew he also loved the park, and it felt as if there was a quiet communion between us, like between the people who come every day to the same temple.

A New Experience with Awareness

Then one day I experienced something new. As I was walking, I stopped as usual to ground myself better in awareness and get out of my thoughts as much as possible. This time it was much easier, I could feel myself being a part of the park immediately, the thoughts were not bothering me at all, I just stood there motionless, being perfectly clear and grounded, perceiving everything around me.

I saw a squirrel on a tree, and I felt like the squirrel and me were, in fact, one being/thing/consciousness, just divided into 2 bodies. The squirrel looked at me, and then came down from the tree and started walking towards me. Slowly, it made its way next to my feet where it stopped, looking up on me.

We stared like this at each-other for a while, with me keeping my state, until finally a thought entered my mind, telling me “maybe it has rabies, that’s why it is so tame”. At that exact point, the squirrel ran back on the tree, despite the fact that I was still motionless and nothing around had changed, except of that one thought. Only then I noticed the old man who was observing me from his bench. As I looked at him, he greeted me with a smile and I realised he was also with us there at that moment.

Amazed at the closeness I felt to the squirrel and everything around me, I intensified my efforts in getting out of the mind and feeling the magic around me. A few days had passed and I managed to get into that perfect state of awareness again.

This time I was standing at a certain spot next to the lake, being immersed in the beauty of the light that was coming from my right side, with the trees being completely lit by it. I felt like I was also a part of that light, and a part of everything around me. I could not even feel myself as a person anymore, I was just there, merged with everything, in a kind of awe, with my mind totally quiet. As I was standing there in this state, I noticed in the corner of my eye a group of ducks swimming in the lake. I saw they started swimming towards me, but I didn’t pay any special attention to them, they were just a part of the scenery.

Another photo I took of the ducks at the park.

Another photo I took of the ducks at the park.

However, the ducks quickly came to the shore, clumsily made their way out of the water, and started walking towards me in a perfect, orderly line, with one duck leading the way. When they came about 2 feet close, they made a circle around me, and kept coming even closer.

At that point, I started losing my state as it all felt too surreal and unbelievable. The ducks, just like the squirrel before, didn’t even feel like ducks anymore, they felt like the particles of the same thing as me. At the same time, a very subtle ego of fear entered, making me worry that they will start climbing on me or something, and what I was going to do, etc… It was nothing big, not even formulated into a thought yet, just a feeling that wanted to develop into a thought, and I was fighting hard to keep it at bay and maintain my peaceful state.

The ducks, however, started to feel the difference, leaving the circle. Yet, for a little while, I managed to regain back my state, and they started tightening the circle around me again, but then eventually I lost it, and the ducks walked away in the same perfect orderly line as they came, one by one jumped back into the water and swam away.

These experiences showed me that everything living is connected together in a much more intimate way than I previously thought and by being aware I could tap into this higher reality of my consciousness.