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A Gift from My Divine Mother While Chanting the Mantra Om

Experience submitted by Zorana
Experience submitted by Zorana

In the experience below a mantra acted as a kind of saving grace for me from an onslaught of thoughts and emotions.

It started with my having to take a final exam for a course. Throughout all the lessons, I took everything very seriously and made sure I was as thorough as I could be.

When exam time came, I felt prepared and confident that I had developed my skills up to a standard necessary to pass. After turning it in, I remember thinking there just couldn’t have been anything that I missed. I was so sure, and I double-checked everything.

Going into it with this attitude, you can imagine my shock when I received notice that I in fact failed the final. This sounds like a pretty unfortunate situation to be in, but it actually wasn’t a big deal. I had the chance to retake it, and it wouldn’t have counted against me. However, my reaction to this failure was pretty unexpected.

Since I was so confident in my mighty studying skills, the possibility of failure was distant to me in this case. In retrospect, this attachment to a certain outcome and my overconfidence played a major role in blinding me to the little ways certain inner states were building up over the time frame of the course.

I suppose I had this idea in my head that if I dedicated the appropriate amount of time + effort and genuinely covered all my bases to ensure I have a good chance that this would fulfill the magic formula and, therefore, I would succeed. I felt cheated! ☺

At this point, several awful inner states came up so quickly and relentlessly that I found myself chanting a prayer to the divine mother to free me from them and eliminate their effect, which I had learned from Belsebuub’s work. Even with this prayer, the egos were quite powerful and their presence still felt.

I was scared that I didn’t know why I had failed and didn’t like feeling so confused, amongst many other things. (Strangely, a part of me also found it funny how the egos attacked in almost an organized way – pushing all the right buttons. I thought they probably knew way before me that I had failed and were just waiting for me to find out so they could pounce ☺)

Here I am enjoying my time in nature.

I decided to go to a practice area and do the mantra Om. Before beginning, I asked my divine mother to help me overcome these terrible states and clear my mind of worrisome thoughts.

About 10 or 15 minutes into the mantra, I started to feel the familiar sensation of weightlessness and a kind of expansion of self. I’m not sure exactly how to describe it, but it’s that feeling of being a giant where your “head” (but it’s obviously not your physical head) is almost up to the ceiling and you no longer feel that distance between the shoulders and hands being so short – it has expanded beyond that natural measure.

Most importantly, it was wonderful. A feeling closest to bliss or peace that I know of currently. It lasted for some time, and all the while, I felt the comfort of my divine mother and her answer to my prayer. I was so touched and grateful to have felt her love and care when I was experiencing a small internal abyss all of my own making just a few minutes before. The two experiences contrasted each other greatly.

I ended up having quite a bit to learn from the decisions I made which led to a failing grade – they all stemmed from the exact same insecurity. However, I wasn’t able to see any of this until I was properly clear-minded and more detached from the feelings that were associated with each decision.

While I was glad to be able to understand the cause and egos at play, I was happier to have had such a connection with the divine and a validation of how quickly help can be received when we need it most.

  • Hi Zorana,
    I really enjoyed reading your experience. I know how difficult it can be to get out of all those thoughts and emotions screaming at you. But it’s so great that there is another way and it’s a beautiful and healing way to deal with the situations of life. I wish more people knew (or wanted to know) how close actually that help is, but we do need to make that small step and look for it.

    I hope more people will read your article!

  • Hi Zorana, what a beautiful experience. Especially considering the circumstances you were faced with!

    I feel this is a lovely example of divine mercy 🙂

    Jesus has such a magical way of giving the teachings, i really enjoyed reading the gospel of peace also.

    Thankyou for sharing.

  • Thanks for sharing your experience with your Divine Mother Zorana. Hopefully you’ll have many more experiences to help you with your spiritual work.

    I also love the passage from The Essene Gospel of Peace.

  • Oh, what a beautiful experience. Thank you for sharing that Zorana. I love the quote you shared also. It always makes me feel a bit weepy on the inside, reading about how much our Divine Mother loves us.

    Your experience makes me want to get closer to my Divine Mother. I feel I often fail her by not showing up. I mean, I don’t show up to do practices and to strengthen my connection with her. I want to….it’s just somehow hard to sit down and quiet myself enough to do a practice. I have felt a bit of what you described, though, about feeling how the Divine Mother was comforting you. It’s so lovely to have her close like that. It’s so nice to have a perfect mother that we can always turn to.

  • Thanks Zorana for sharing. It is a nice reminder about what’s possible to do with the techniques Belsebuub teaches.

    • Yes 🙂 I ended up not needing to retake it actually after I explained my thought process and gave the proper correction. But the interesting part for me was that for each mistake that counted against me, I had the same exact doubts about it and the same line of thought that was coming up for me while I was taking the course. And I didn’t really deal with it. I just kept battling against it. So this situation was more in my face, so to speak, to finally face certain insecurities.

      • It goes to show how things happen like that to expose certain parts of our psyche. Thanks for explaining that, and I’m glad you passed 🙂

  • Thanks for sharing this Zorana! That’s really nice to hear how you were comforted by the divine mother after being down in those awful lower states. Life indeed comes with all its challenges, some we fail and others we pass. How we deal with them for me can make all the difference.
    That passage from the Essene Gospel of Peace is lovely and I’ve felt that comforting feeling many times too when reaching out again to my divine mother. It’s great to know that she is there for us, even though we haven’t been reaching out to her for some time.

  • Hi Zorana, thank you very much for sharing! I must say I can very much relate to the feelings of “injustice” and confusion after having done my best (or what i think was my best) and yet not meeting up the standards for that particular thing or being rejected in a way. Your experience shows how much we need that detachment and help of the Divine to understand these situations for what they are and learn from them.

    I remember a several years ago I find myself in a very tricky situation I didn’t expect at all. Before the situation emerged, I have done everything I could to prepare for a particular event, doing things nobody was willing to do, etc. And yet, when the event commenced, by a mysterious arrangement of circumstances, I was excluded from it.
    As I was trying to do a practice, my mind franatically tried to find out what could have I possibly done wrong, but could not figure it out. No matter how I looked at it, there was no other option for me to do anything than what I did, and yet, there was a result that felt so unfair. I felt on a brink of tears, so started applying the elimination technique and after a while the state subsided and I achieved at least some peace. But even after many years, I still didn’t figure out what I have done wrong, so I just assumed I was shown what it is like to deal with unfairness and that maybe I was too attached to the event. But to this day I am not sure…

    • Thanks for sharing that Lucia. I’ve also found it difficult at times to deal with exclusion, as this is something that has cropped up quite a lot for me over recent years. There have been many aspects to it, such as being unable to do activities I once enjoyed and gained a boost from doing, or being unable to participate in social activities or celebrations.

      I remember a couple of years ago I was keen to join a group of friends to celebrate the spring equinox, as it had been some time since I’d had the opportunity to do that in person. I had a lot of challenges with my health to overcome, but tried to get around these, in order to join in the celebration. But unfortunately, in this case, my efforts to override what my body was telling my backfired and I was not only unable to join the celebration, but also experienced a significant and prolonged worsening in my health as a result.

      It can be hard to be unable even to participate in things that would benefit us spiritually, such as celebrating the passage of the sun with friends, or going for a simple walk in nature. Sometimes this has seemed unfair, particularly if I made significant efforts and sacrifices to try and join in. But what I learnt is that there are often subtle attachments behind many things and it can be useful to see these and work to reduce them, in order to be less affected by the ups and downs of life’s events.

      Ultimately, each of us will have to face losing everything we hold dear, when we reach the end of our lives, so I think that learning to develop a level of detachment from people, places and things can be beneficial. That doesn’t mean deliberately isolating ourselves of course, or not caring for other people, but I think if we are less dependent upon external factors, it can reduce the amount of suffering we need to go through when those things are taken away from us, which they inevitably will be, whether we are prepared for it or not.

    • I really laughed after reading about this “mysterious arrangement of circumstances.” It’s amusing for me to image the way higher beings sort of shuffle things around to bring about or provoke a certain reaction within a person. All so we can see. I would also assume that’s the reason it turned out the way it did for you – to deal with unfairness for no reason of your doing. I remember reading a few experiences Belsebuub shared that were along those lines and how he realized later the purpose of it. It’s really unpleasant and I can imagine myself feeling exactly as you did, but I bet you gleaned many lessons from that scenario. 🙂

  • Gosh Zorana – how inspiring that at a point of failure and feeling so low, you were able to instead look for and find the love, bliss and inner peace coming from the Divine. That was really inspiring to read, and illustrated how light can always be at our sides even in times of difficulties, no matter what these may be. So often, ancient texts refer to the Divine being always at our sides even – I don’t think it is something I really truly understood until I read about the Spring Equinox ceremony by Belsebuub – this walking of the Divine Mother accompanying the initiate, always at our sides, looking over us – it really touched me deeply. And your experience reminded me of it – how we just need to open ourselves to that help, to remember to pray and ask,so that we can receive and make room for that love and light, instead of keeping it out of us. So thank you for that.

    • Hi, Geraldine. I’m glad what I shared served in some way as a reminder of something that affected and inspired you profoundly. I think what you say about needing to open ourselves up to divine help and remembering to ask sounds so simple, but I find myself surprised by how many times I forget to do so or don’t feel like I should due to whatever resistance there is. It sounds silly and it really is, because how else are we to “make it” if we don’t have this help. Thanks for your reflections.

    • Thanks Geraldine – I had a similar feeling while reading this article, but your comment puts it quite clearly into words.

      It’s great you were able to get out of that state Zorana, and I think it’s a great illustration of how those types of states and by extension physical situations can disappear and change if the right inner efforts are applied – and especially with the help of the divine. This seems to me like one of those experiences where you’re shown what’s possible, but will have to work for it all on your own next time around. If that’s the case, all the strength!

  • What a beautiful experience that came out of such a difficult time! It must have been amazing to have that expanded perception and to feel connected to your Divine Mother through the mantra.

    An experience like that really puts life into perspective and suddenly the hardships we face seem smaller because we have connected with forces much, much greater.

  • Thank you Zorana.

    It seems failing that exam proved a lot more fruitful for learning than passing it in one go. 🙂

    I can see how when we feel we’ve put our best efforts in, with this sort of attachment, and it falls short how that can wreak a lot of havoc inside and be very demoralising. Excellent! A great time to gain self-knowledge. To see and get rid of certain drives and at the same time develop and increase our deeper inner strengths.

    Your experience of chanting the mantra OM and the connection you felt to your Divine Mother sounds really soothing. So wonderful indeed, like that extract from the Essene gospel conveys.

    I have to say that I found your description of the expansive feeling certainly very….. mmmh, unique. 😉
    Just kidding. I think I know what you mean actually. It’s a great reminder for me to relax my body better while chanting mantras, which I don’t do so well at all nowadays. But that combo of a very relaxed body and warmed up mantra can be so nice.

    • It really did prove a lot more fruitful, Karim. That’s for sure.

      Love the enthusiasm for self-knowledge. Lol! A demoralizing and havoc-ridden situation? All the better! 😉

  • Hey Zorana,

    sounds like your failure in one area lead to success in another! I’m glad you found genuine solace in the contact with your divine mother when your emotions raged against you. It can be good to have our confidence in ourselves knocked like this sometimes…

    You describe the transformative effect mantras can have really well. It’s quite incredible that pronouncing some words can bring about such a profound inner change, but it really can, especially when you’re focused, and I’ve found when I’m using a mantra with a real need to come out of a state, which is imbued with an intense prayer, that this translates as a special kind of focus when compared to the casual ‘oh I’ll do a twenty minute mantra exercise now’. Or sometimes I can find that focus and sense of the mantra itself being a prayer and a calling out to my divine mother as the practise progresses, the act of doing it changing my state from a mundane one to one where I feel surrounded by the presence and love of my divine mother. That feeling of your body being as big as the room is one of my favourite side effects of mantras too!

    Thanks for sharing and wishing you many more experiences that connect you to your inner Being. 🙂

    • I think the opposite happens to me, sometimes my body starts to feel tiny and the room feels huge. Although I do also get that sort of an expansive feeling sometimes (not the size of the whole room though 😉 ).

      I really like how you describe the mantra being like a prayer Ella, and when we are using it as a way to reach for inner change, instead of that slightly stale feeling of ok time for the daily mantra practice, it can transform things and bring us in touch with the divine. I was just describing that here

    • Hi, Ella! I also really like how you’ve captured this feeling of sincerity when doing a mantra — “sometimes I can find that focus and sense of the mantra itself being a prayer and a calling out to my divine mother.” I find it really special and as if it gives the practice a lot more depth, like you’re working to bridge that connection with the divine and the fruits of it emerge in a kind of magical way. 🙂

  • Your experience with the O mantra sounds very memorable Zorana and it’s great that you were able to transform your negative inner state into one of bliss so rapidly, after appealing to your divine mother for help. I have also found that asking for spiritual help can come as a much needed boost when going through unpleasant emotions.

    Your earlier experience with the exam made me smile, as I’ve had some similar experiences to you, where I was confident that I’d nailed a particular assignment, only to receive a fail grade. I think being objective is very important, as when we are attached to something, whether it’s a piece of work or an idea, it can be easy to miss the flaws in it.

    Interestingly, I also had the reverse experience, where I rushed to complete an assignment and was sure it would fail, as it seemed so sketchy and incomplete. But in this case, I actually got an A grade! 🙂 I don’t recommend rushing work, as I certainly received some poor grades on other assignments as a result, but I think with this particular assignment, it was a case of “less is more”, whereas I may have added too much unnecessary detail, if I’d had more time.

    • I’ve had a few of those too, Michael, where passing an exam or project is a pleasant surprise! I think you’re right about being objective that it serves us when we fail as much as when we pass.

  • I love that quote! And what a lovely and inspiring experience Zorana. Yes, what an abyss we can create for ourselves, even though the external trigger was something reasonable and could have been dealt with calmly. I’ve noticed this in myself recently and it hit me, I don’t have to go there, I don’t have to be like this, allow these awful thoughts and emotions to develop into something so debilitating. Often I feel like if they take me there, I have a part of me that says ‘this doesn’t make sense’ but the egos keep holding me down and I don’t have the power to get up. It’s great you were able to get clear of them and acquire self-knowledge in this situation.

    Reading your experience makes me want to develop my connection and relationship with the Divine Mother more during the day, put in the efforts to change and be the child she wants me to be, deal with my inner states better. So often I forget about her and fall into my thoughts, nagging worries, the drive of the mind to get things done, whereas I feel like I want to keep reaching out for her throughout everything, to be able to better hear and receive her guidance and love, and to have shown by my efforts that I honestly want it and need it and can change. Thank you for this.

    • That’s true, Laura. I see that too where the thought to get out of a certain way of acting is sometimes just not enough, like something stronger is needed. I think that “push” is kind of unidentifiable, but we all know it. When the willpower is there and is strengthened by practicing it. Thanks for your input!


Belsebuub is a British-born author who writes about out-of-body and other types of mystical experiences. He withdrew from public life in 2010. Read more here.

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